Yosukeās days were getting harder and harder to face. He had been mopey for a while after what happened that night, and had tried so desperately to be all smiles, but Yu told him, shortly after his hospital release, that pretending wasnāt going to fly. Of course, Yosuke warned him: āYouāre not going to be any happier if Iām miserable all of the time.ā
However, Yosuke couldnāt deny that allowing himself to mope was much easier, but... he obviously saw how Yu handled it, though, by staying so late that Yosuke would go to bed alone, by avoiding him with work or by going to the bar,
It went without saying that after the proposal was made, Yu didnāt want to deal with Yosuke anymore, as though he were too much of a hassle, too much of a burden. Yosuke anxiously filled his days with trying to clean and cook, a part of him wanting to feel worthy, but it didnāt help that he was still wounded and was sore all over. Whenever he passed a mirror, he thought he saw yellow eyes watching him, feeling stared at as he went about whatever house chore he could.
(TW; Mentions of not eating and blood)
He had scrubbed at the tiles and corners of wooden floors until his hands cracked and bled. He found things to clean and burned his hands with chemicals. He focused so hard on doing ANYTHING that he sometimes forgot meals, and when he made meals for two, he would pick at his bowl as the other one sat in the fridge, in a Tupperware waiting for Yu to eat.
He was miserable allowing himself to be miserable, he was miserable because his mood was driving Yu away, and he was miserable just being alone with himself.
When Yu finally came home on time, Yosuke had just finished dinner. He actually smiled a little, happy to see him in time to share a meal-- but his smile stiffened at the declaration, at the desire to talk. He knew this was coming already. He had prepared the conversation in his head. However, it didnāt stop the pinpricks of goosebumps to sprout all over his body, like hot TV fuzz, his head feeling pressed under and intense weight, his eyes threatening to water.
He fought back the prickly feeling, feeling like he was underwater in his movements. Maybe this was a nightmare. He could never run in nightmares. He put aside the food and turned off the burner. The plate he had prepared for himself was covered, and he made his way to the small dining table, taking a seat and waiting.
Yu finally came back, looking less like a soaked animal, and sat across from him. Those words were delivered, and Yosuke felt like his was spinning in orbit. Suddenly, an intense emotion rose up his throat, rage boiling over and making his face red.
āReally? Because I TOLD you thatās what would happen,ā Yosuke leaned over the table, trying to be imposing, trying to get into the otherās space, like a biting dog. āI stopped playing happy and you decide youād rather be anywhere but near me. Donāt think I havenāt noticed-- you keep yourself at work nonstop, and donāt even come home until Iām asleep. Does it make you upset that Iām miserable? How do you think I feel?ā
Yosuke finally breathed in, deep, his eyes watering and his face red. He spouted off so muchā¦ but he was so, so angry, so betrayed, he didnāt even want to be near the other.
āWhy ask meā¦?ā Yosuke shook his head. Yu had BEGGED him to be honest, and look what happened-- it made Yu run away. So what could they even do, at this point? Wait for Yosuke to get over it?
āJustā¦ maybe I should go away for a bit. Clearly Iām just bringing you down with me.ā